What Really Grinds My Gears With Matt Stropoli: Phantom Weights

If a weight is left on a barbell and no one is around to rack it, does it re-rack itself? This question has plagued many weightlifters within the commercial community but is still unanswered, until today.

The answer is NO. But then how do all the weights left on all the barbells get racked?

This is another question that has left commercial gym patrons scratching their heads for decades. Through sources, who rather not be made public, I have found an answer.

Do you know that guy you see when you walk in? You know the one I am talking about. The one with little to no clothing on, muscles glistening, usually with a gallon jug of some brightly colored concoction. You may chuckle, or even scoff at this person. Thoughts may creep into your head about how ridiculous you think he looks, but this man is a superhero.

To semi-quote the epic 2008 film “The Dark Knight” “He’s the hero commercial gyms deserve, but not the one they need right now ” Ok, so I took some liberties and that wasn’t the exact quote, but that is why I said semi-quote.

Back to our hero, this man has figured something out that no one else within the commercial community has been able to figure out. The secret to his eye-popping muscles and chiseled physique is not steroids or any of that performance enhancing garbage. The secret to our hero’s physique is that after the gym has died down and the floor is littered with dumbbells, bars, and plates he goes through and systematically re-racks every single piece.

Now when my source told me this I said “C’mon that can’t be it, there has to be something or someone else.” But he assured me that this was how weights were racked in gyms across the world. He also told me this little known fact, this is how the golden era bodybuilders like Arnold and Lou originally sculpted their physiques.

He even had studies done on these so-called superheroes and at the time of racking the weights their testosterone had risen an unimaginable 75-90%. So finally we have an answer to a question that has been pondered on for as long as there have been commercial gyms.

We also have a new incentive to do this racking ourselves. So I will end this with a bold but scientifically proven claim, RACK YOUR WEIGHTS AND YOUR STRENGTH WILL SKYROCKET!

Disclaimer:  None of what was said in this article is actually based on science.

about the author


Matt Stropoli is a 26 year old former professional baseball player with the conflicting obsession of being a lean, tank top wearing, super bro and a monster weight pushing silverback gorilla. He resides in lovely Southern California where he's once again a member of the commercial gym community. He's here to laugh at himself and everyone around him and bring a lighthearted point of view to the world of iron.  You can connect with Matt on Instagram (@barbelladdiction).